Deep calls to Deep

Nov 21, 2016

There are seasons of life that can feel like they will take you under, wave upon crashing wave without pause to gulp for air. Soul pummelled and tumbled like clothes being swished clean in the washer, the agitation shakes you loose and you wonder, "Will I make it out of this?" Perhaps your heart is shook loose that it beats wildly yet unattached to you, all out of sync like but loudly like a wake up call. In the sleepy background, you hear its piercing announcement to "RISE UP!" yet the ringing fades away as you drift out of reach. Woundedness becomes your wardrobe, yet in the bottom of your little toe you know you are not called to wear it - not for long, not for always. Oh but that woundedness be not worn, but also be not wasted, giving new eyes to see the beauty in the broken places, to see more clearly what was always there but obscured by something comfortable. The crushing and the heavy swishing in your soul have thrust you down deep below the surface, which  feels like both a retreat and a death sentence. Deep calls to deep.

In this time slot of life, there have been unending waves of grief, coming in one after the other after the other with little time to regroup. At times, the water was flat and then it wasn't - BOOM a crashing sucker punch of a wave. In other moments with eyes just above water searching the the horizon, waves for miles, we can see them coming.  Whether relentlessly predicatable or out of no where, each crash thrusts us deeper, and while the twirling under water feels impossible, maybe that is the point. Deep calls to deep.

For months I have sat silently. Sometimes because there were no words. Sometimes because I needed to listen. There is both the reaction and the being intentional when it comes to handling those waves and the unpacking process is not without great difficulty or great hope.  Deep calls to deep.

What is this deep calling to deep? Do you hear it too?

Why are you in despair, O my soul?
And why have you become disturbed within me?
Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him
For the help of His presence.
O my God, my soul is in despair within me;
Therefore I remember You from the land of the Jordan
And the peaks of Hermon, from Mount Mizar.
Deep calls to deep at the sound of Your waterfalls;
All Your breakers and Your waves have rolled over me.
The Lord will command His lovingkindness in the daytime;
And His song will be with me in the night,
A prayer to the God of my life." Psalm 42:5-8

I hear you Lord and the waterfalls of your grace, mercy and love. Yes, you have wrapped me up in the waves and breakers, rolling over me with divine promises born out of your absolute GOODNESS. The going under is a deep submergence into your peace, and not only do I surrender, but I dive in! You are with me and You are calling. Yes, deep calls to deep.

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