NOT FUNNY, Mr. Sticky Frog

There will be NO PHOTOS in this post.

First off:  I’ve got issues.  Some rational.  Some irrational.  But that is another blog.

ONE of my irrational fears is of sticky frogs.  Right now you need to wipe out of your mind images of colorfully speckled tree frogs and what not.  And yes, I guess this is about appearances because I don’t think that kind freaks me out.  Dominican sticky frogs are a less aesthetically pleasing variety.  They’re a sticky/slimy variety (think pickled okra in the form of a frog – but stickier) and then imagine the distinct color of puke – you know what I’m talking about, right?  AND THEN, imagine a smug little frog face and super long legs for springing long distances.  And there you have it:  the sticky frog.

I have had several traumatic run-ins with sticky frogs, but the BIGGEST problem that I have is with one particular sticky frog (we’ll call him, Mr. Sticky Frog) that cohabitates IN MY ROOM – AND, AND, AND – it TORMENTS me!  Almost every night when I turn out my bedside lamp and close my eyes for about 30 seconds, it starts croacking, as if on cue. At first, I thought it was just outside my window (Jon ASSURED me that it was – probably because he didn’t want to spend his evenings hunting said sticky frog down for his obsessively fearful wife!)  

Anyways, yesterday, I was sitting on my bed putting my makeup on, and I felt a little drip of liquid on my foot (not startled yet because we live in a leaky house and drips are rather common). You need to also understand that the roof over my bedroom is more like a covered patio roof.  There are wooden 2 x 4 beams making a grid, and on top a corrugated heavy plaster type roof sits.  

HOWEVER, when I instinctively glanced upward to see from whence “the leak” came, I spied two ginormous sticky frog legs flopping on top of one of the beams.  NOT FUNNY MR. STICKY FROG!  And what was THE LIQUID?  I ran flailing and muttering sticky frog curses from my room calling for my knight and shining armor to rid me of this menace.  By the time he arrived, Mr. Sticky Frog had slipped away into the shadows of the beams, but I KNOW HE’S UP THERE!

Last night I spent the night sweating due to the fact that I was entirely submerged under the protection of my covers, and every once in a while I did the something’s crawling on me freak out dance.  NOT NICE.