May 21, 2010

"I do it all by my lone."

This is a very common statement  in the Sawyer household, "I'll do it all by my lone."  I've fought the temptation to correct this statement to "I'll do it all by myself" because its one of those lingering characteristics of my children being small that I'm not ready to say goodbye to.  So, day after day, in regards to getting dressed, brushing teeth, wiping bottoms, doing homework, tying shoes, making chocolate milk, taking food to the table, I hear "I do it all by my lone." The other day it occurred to me that I often totally take on this philosophy towards my faith, towards handing burdens over to a capable, worthy and loving God.  Why do I do this?  Like I think I'm all that and that I don't need help?  I know that this is not the case, yet repeatedly I hoard my troubles as if to say, "I do it all by my lone!" I grew up thinking that troubles are not meant to be shared with others, and while I am still rather tight lipped and don't believe everything is meant to be shared with everyone (sorry FACEBOOK), I don't think that the Lord intended for us to walk alone, and certainly not apart from HIM, in good times or bad times.  Pride is a terrible thing when it whispers in our inner being the lie that we can do it all by our lone, and that if we can't then we should put on a good face and silently proceed as if capable.  Needing help, asking for help and being vulnerable are not signs of weakness, but more like open invitations for the Lord to use all circumstances for His good.  This feels like a cliche ending, but the truth is that when we are weak, He is strong.  The truth is I can't do it all by my lone.  There.  I said it.

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